I have been reflecting a lot on my faith lately, and I was asked earlier to give my faith journey to someone. That was verbally, but I figured I would re-hash it in my blog. Some of it is redundant in terms of my content in previous posts, but it adds to my faith journey, so I couldn't just cut it out!
Though I would never judge the faith journey of anyone else, I whole-heartedly accept that my early journey in the church is pretty typical. I grew up in an LCMS church in the suburbs of Minneapolis (Edina, to be more specific). My mother, my two younger brothers, and myself were heavily involved with everything from volunteering for the Easter brunch to starring in the Christmas plays to serving meals at our sister church, Trinity First Lutheran, in North Minneapolis. I was the “goodie two-shoes church girl”, and I loved it. In that moment, my faith seemed so real because I was following all of the rules, but my complacency was probably so evident to everyone around me.
However, in the spring of 2007, my parents got divorced, and my experience with the church completely changed. Many of the members of the church disowned us. My best friend’s mom said I was no longer allowed to play with her because I was the child of divorce. My church saw my brothers and I as the newly spawned children of a devil woman, despite our lack of fault in the situation. My only real connection to the church was my youth pastor, Audrey Duensing-Werner, who has been like a fairy godmother to me during my life, but she left to serve at a church in Topeka that same summer. I was lost and alone in a place that I used to call home. Throughout high school, I slowly but surely drifted away from my faith, sure that I did not want to associate myself with people who knew me so well but decided to reject me based on the decisions of my parents. I came into college with very little faith, and that was evident in my actions. I had spent the last two years of high school partying heavily and that translated pretty abundantly into my first few months of college.
Luckily, God is SO good and brought me to one of my good friends, Brittni Kinney, who brought me back to Him. We had several heart-wrenching discussions about religion and her fire for Jesus was absolutely contagious! Within an instant, my life was brought back to the wholeness that I had felt before the divorce-fed chasm and has felt ever since. I was able to take ownership over my faith (one of the most refreshing and empowering things I have ever done), and I have been attending The Crossing, a non-denominational church in Columbia, ever since.
My experience with the church has been rocky, at best, but my experience with the Church as a larger-scale community of folks who love Jesus and others has been beyond remarkable. Every day, I am pushed by fellow believers to work for good and let Jesus shine through every pore of my body with everything that I do, and I couldn’t be more thankful for those that I have met along the way who have shone me what “being the hands and feet of Jesus” really looks like. These folks have encouraged me to take daily time with God, and my favorite piece of my relationship with God is that I am in constant dialogue with Him. Though I do not underestimate the power of fully devoted, private, and focused prayer, there is just something special and enlightening about having an open conversation with God as you walk to class and go about your day-to-day activities. I also work hard to use daily devotionals. I love learning and engaging in thought about different perspectives, so I look into several devotionals a day to get insight on specific passages or trials in life. I will always be on this constant journey, figuring out how God fits into my life because, let’s be honest, all humans try to “fit God in”. However, as I continue to grow, struggle, then grow some more, I am constantly reminded that God cannot merely “fit” into my life, because He IS my life; He created it, He planned it, and He is running it.
Though I would never judge the faith journey of anyone else, I whole-heartedly accept that my early journey in the church is pretty typical. I grew up in an LCMS church in the suburbs of Minneapolis (Edina, to be more specific). My mother, my two younger brothers, and myself were heavily involved with everything from volunteering for the Easter brunch to starring in the Christmas plays to serving meals at our sister church, Trinity First Lutheran, in North Minneapolis. I was the “goodie two-shoes church girl”, and I loved it. In that moment, my faith seemed so real because I was following all of the rules, but my complacency was probably so evident to everyone around me.
However, in the spring of 2007, my parents got divorced, and my experience with the church completely changed. Many of the members of the church disowned us. My best friend’s mom said I was no longer allowed to play with her because I was the child of divorce. My church saw my brothers and I as the newly spawned children of a devil woman, despite our lack of fault in the situation. My only real connection to the church was my youth pastor, Audrey Duensing-Werner, who has been like a fairy godmother to me during my life, but she left to serve at a church in Topeka that same summer. I was lost and alone in a place that I used to call home. Throughout high school, I slowly but surely drifted away from my faith, sure that I did not want to associate myself with people who knew me so well but decided to reject me based on the decisions of my parents. I came into college with very little faith, and that was evident in my actions. I had spent the last two years of high school partying heavily and that translated pretty abundantly into my first few months of college.
Luckily, God is SO good and brought me to one of my good friends, Brittni Kinney, who brought me back to Him. We had several heart-wrenching discussions about religion and her fire for Jesus was absolutely contagious! Within an instant, my life was brought back to the wholeness that I had felt before the divorce-fed chasm and has felt ever since. I was able to take ownership over my faith (one of the most refreshing and empowering things I have ever done), and I have been attending The Crossing, a non-denominational church in Columbia, ever since.
My experience with the church has been rocky, at best, but my experience with the Church as a larger-scale community of folks who love Jesus and others has been beyond remarkable. Every day, I am pushed by fellow believers to work for good and let Jesus shine through every pore of my body with everything that I do, and I couldn’t be more thankful for those that I have met along the way who have shone me what “being the hands and feet of Jesus” really looks like. These folks have encouraged me to take daily time with God, and my favorite piece of my relationship with God is that I am in constant dialogue with Him. Though I do not underestimate the power of fully devoted, private, and focused prayer, there is just something special and enlightening about having an open conversation with God as you walk to class and go about your day-to-day activities. I also work hard to use daily devotionals. I love learning and engaging in thought about different perspectives, so I look into several devotionals a day to get insight on specific passages or trials in life. I will always be on this constant journey, figuring out how God fits into my life because, let’s be honest, all humans try to “fit God in”. However, as I continue to grow, struggle, then grow some more, I am constantly reminded that God cannot merely “fit” into my life, because He IS my life; He created it, He planned it, and He is running it.